UNDERGROUND  LAWS 

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General Rules

  1. Never take anything for granted. Things aren't always what they seem in here.

  2. The phrase "piece of cake" is banned in the labyrinth. Woe betide whoever (except the king) dares to utter it - punishment will be meted out accordingly.

  3. Regardless of the time, the sun must always rise when there is a rescuer to brave the labyrinth.

 

By decree of His Royal Highness, King Jareth, the following rules are laid out for the respective inhabitants of the Underground.  Anyone found breaking the rules shall be tipped head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench.  Rules apply to everyone except the King himself.  It is the King's prerogative to change any of the rules anytime he wishes without warning.

 

Goblins

  1. Only take a baby that is wished away with the right words. The words are "I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now." Otherwise, don't take the baby.

  2. Always replace or turn around the stone tiles of the Labyrinth floor discreetly without alerting the rescuer who marks them.

  3. Whenever Ludo is alone, capture him, hang him up a tree and torture him with nipper sticks.

  4. Whenever there is a masquerade ball, take on human form and attend the ball. Always aid the Goblin King to keep the rescuer at the ball for as long as necessary, preferably until the clock strikes 13.

  5. When the goblin city gates are breeched, send Humongus the robot to axe the transpassers.

 

Hoggle

  1. Tend the garden outside the labyrinth gates. Keep the biting faeries' population down by spraying them with faery pesticide.

  2. Only show rescuers the way into the labyrinth when they ask the right question.

 

Biting Faeries

  1. Never be kind, never grant wishes.

  2. Always take a bite of those who touch you or attempt to touch you.

 

Blue Worm (christened Willum by the Listians)

  1. Always invite visitors into your home to meet the Missus and to have a cup of tea.

 

Alph & Ralph (with Upside Down Jim & Tim)

  1. It is forbidden to tell which door leads to certain death and which door leads to the centre of the labyrinth.

 

False Alarms

  1. Always give the standard warnings when someone passes by.

 

Wiseman & Bird Hat

  1. Never give a direct answer to questions asked.

  2. Always ask for contributions to questions answered.

 

Firey Gang

  1. Have a good time, sing and dance.

  2. When there are rescuers, get him/her to play with you.

  3. Always attempt to dismember the visitors' body parts.

  4. It's against the rules to throw other people's heads. You are only allowed to throw your own head.

 

Sir Didymus

  1. Guard the bridge over the Bog of Eternal Stench with your life.

  2. Never allow anyone to cross the bridge without your permission.  Fight to the death if necessary.

 

Junk Lady (Agnes)

  1. Be rude to rescuers.

  2. Lure the rescuers into the magical recreation of their environment (courtesy of the Goblin King).

  3. Distract the rescuer from his/her quest of rescuing the baby by attempting to keep the rescuer in the recreated environment for as long as necessary. Pile his/her possessions onto his/her back so that overtime, he/she will become another member of the Junkyard community.

 

***  The End for now  ***

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